There comes a point in everyone’s life where they have to stop and take stock. And sometimes that picture isn’t pretty. The Red Pill ethos is seductive because it plays on a person’s desire to be special, to be told that he’s uniquely special. It validates both his victimhood and his anger. It casts the world as your enemy – a world of hypergamous, emotional sluts, jealous AFCs and pitiful manginas, all of whom are conspiring to bring you down because they resent you just that much. Admitting that you’re wrong, that you’ve been tricked, is hard… even more so when you have to acknowledge just how much damage you’ve done to others.

 

SadSister, I don’t envy your position. Your brother is in a bad place right now and it’s led him to do some frankly horrible things. It’s going to take a lot to make him realize just how fucked up his behavior has been.

Part of what helps is to look around, to really look and recognize how he’s been fooled. The Red Pill ethos is predicated on misdirection; as long as the person is distracted, they never notice the flaws in the logic. Once you stop and actually examine it, it crumbles like a sandcastle at high tide. When you strip away the gaslighting and the abuse, Red Pill tactics just don’t work. It’s Dumbo’s magic feather, if that feather kept whispering in your ear that all women were whores. What did he do that really worked? He started eating right, dressing better, working out, making new friends and actually asking women out. Everything else in the Red Pill philosophy led to his abusing every woman in his life and chasing them all away.

That alone should be reason to pause and re-examine his life. The problem isn’t that he can’t relate to women without the Red Pill, it’s that he can’t relate to them with it. Obviously, I think that one of the best things he could do is to start reading through my site for advice on finding and maintaing healthy relationships. But I also think he needs to do more.

He needs is to find positive relationship role-models in his life – people in happy, equitable relationships, not ones predicated on abuse and manipulation. It will also help to direct him tomore positive masculine role-models, ones who help him see what true masculinity is likeinstead of the toxic stew that he’s been mired in. Personally, I think he could do far worse than to look at someone like Henry Rollins. He should also read books about healthy masculinity likeMan Up: Reimagining Modern Manhood and even Confessions of a Pick-Up Artist Chaser, which helps break down why so much of the techniques the Red Pill advocate are so abusive from a woman’s perspective. Blogs like Yes Means Yes can help him learn to see what a positive, affirmative model of sex can look like.

And more than anything else: I think he needs to talk to a counselor. He’s got some vey deep scars in his psyche, and it’s going to take time and effort to heal them. And with luck, that counselor can also help him find ways to make amends for what he’s done.

Good luck, SadSister. Good luck to both of you.