Unable to break past current value nor deny its value. Yours faithfully what was there, what is there to protect and try to achieve what no me ok. 15 years, quarter life, half of adolescence, a period of time with many ups and downs, chaos life, many things have changed, even personality and perspective of a human life rather change before the demolition of the time. It has not changed things, when we realize it is still present, still exist, deep in the heart of regret, anxiety rising, a little heart, a little entangles. I walked in, still with the old definition radiant, confident the school, vivacious, ask all your friends, kind to everyone, still caring attitude, shared but not much to say about the itself, this does not change. In the cozy room, you held a class reunion, old memories are mentioned. There are stories to embroider slightly increased living parts, everyone has a little pay back, pity me and I was no exception. I sat there, still with sharp coy, bashful old, still with interest your friends, but deep in the sharp eyes sad, a little closer inspection I realized it was not sharp bittersweet accurate than a skin sadness away, not sadness once shared. During that period I was fortunate enough to see each other once or twice to talk on the phone together. I have repeatedly seen them from a distance, the driver followed them over a short distance, very short because I can not keep killing long leather emotions, pain and heart rending. 
Also many times I have dark thoughts, selfish want rob others brought happiness to fill the emptiness of their own, more serious is the evil plan ever drawn up, set, sewing Luckily it was not implemented. Finally, I was fortunate man, from his poor students, no home, no family to worry about manually living life, going to do more, go to school, get the help of many people around around, and then successfully reap fame material. It was the ebullience of youth, I am arrogant, selfish individuals, brought so much grief, loss and for those around them. This life is my beloved causality, I have to pay the price, go back to the spectacular, nothing, no one, then good luck getting the bore, to help others, to stand up, do it again and next to reap, continued success. This time I am wiser, build their own solid value life, a happy family, a sticky model, a family relationship glue that nothing can break. Today, to hear what they shared over the phone, my heart sank, I did not get lucky like me, stole my life the most simple happiness. You have to survive in a family which is covered around the silence, I crave a shared, empathetic, warm family atmosphere quiet. I do not share much, but with the experience of a lifetime gourmet guy, I realize that, what I had previously, but vaguely self-deception that: "There is not that where that". I blurted out with a very naive question: "Do you need anything." Instead the answer is silence, silent a little, and as a courtesy to an old friend, I'm sure you have self-esteem. This answer made ​​me suddenly woke up, suddenly found himself too naive, are creating distance with me. Actually, I can answer this question, what I need I do not have to tell me anymore. Price as 15 years ago ... Memories rushing about in my initial vibration when love and be loved, the blend of two hearts, sharing sympathy, all pride pure love, not muddied by attempts life, the lack of affordable attempts that we have lost another. There are many things that we can change lives today but many things would not change that for the same outcome. There were also marks of the past never recedes into the background, it will follow me to go through the remaining years of his life. We must be awake, unable to break past current value nor deny its value. Yours faithfully what was there, what is there to protect and try to achieve what no me ok