Who Was It With?
My best friend...for five years and counting
When Did You Realize It was Love?
He just looked at me with this amazing sparkle in his eyes
What Did It Feel Like?
It hurts so much to see him and be too scared to tell him how I feel. But when I think about him, I can't stop smiling. I try to think out what I want to say to him in my head, and when I see him, my mind goes blank. My heart starts pounding, I get all choked up, and I can feel myself blush. I say the stupidest stuff in front of him, and I act like a total fool. But he laughs, with me, not at me. He acts like a goof in front of me too, though :)
What Happened Next?
It's frustrating that I can't tell what he's thinking. But it's also frustrating that I have this friend who keeps saying we like each other to our faces and it just gets my hopes up. I laugh when he says that stuff, though, and so does the guy I love. I'm hoping it'll push him to say something, but nothing has happened yet.
He tells me about his personal life, and he talks about the girl he says he likes, but he never tells me who it is. I hope to god that means it's me. I mean, I've read some stuff on this website, and it says a guy talking to you about personal stuff is good, right?
I'm just upset that nothing has happened yet. I don't blame him, though. I'm definitely not a flirt, I don't think I give off that many signals, so maybe he thinks I don't like him. He's told me that before, that he thinks the girl he likes doesn't like him back. Right now I'm kind of just putting my hopes on that one friend that's getting in our faces, because maybe he'll drive us together. I just wish I was brave enough to tell the guy I love him, to his face.
Lessons Learned
- I've seen some people put for their lessons learned not to fall in love with your best friend. I don't believe that. If you give your heart to your best friend, they're most likely the ones that will hold it the best. And if they end up not loving you back, you both were so close in the first place that you'll probably stay friends. Just don't be scared like me...
