The abused often become the abusers. Pain can change people for better or for worse. If we remember that gold has to go through a lot of suffering to become pure, we can accept pain as a means of transformation, but we should never accept abuse. Even better, if we can help others who are also suffering, we gain many spiritual benefits including grace. "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." ~ Khalil Gibran