With our front-line bowlers out of the series and a batting lineup that is perpetually shaky, our chances of winning this World Cup are way, way low.

Still, no reason to lose hope.

Our Pakistani Shaheens appear more than determined in getting the best results out of... their selfies. That they are taking some extremely pathetic selfies, despite all the effort they are putting in, is a different matter altogether.

But fret not, dear reader. According to a source in the PCB, Pakistan's recent defeats against New Zealand are all part of a grand strategy to lose all matches before the World Cup to replicate exactly what happened in 1992.

This will force Pakistan's fate to go: Lose-Lose-Lose-Win!

Yup, that's how the PCB works – in mysterious ways indeed.

According to the same source, the PCB has also decided that the team physiotherapist will now bowl in place of Saeed Ajmal (thus catching the opponent batsman completely off-guard); while wicket-keeper Sarfaraz Ahmed will be suddenly ordered in the middle of a match to take his gloves off and start bowling in place of Hafeez.

The rationale behind that is based on advice from the board's official consultant pundit: